Everyday I wake up with a smile on my face, pretending that everything is okay, continuously lying to myself. Even after all this time, I'm still trying my hardest to pretend my life is going the way I put it out to be. As the days go by, it gets harder to lie to myself. What hurts the most is that nobody knows what's going on and that I cry to myself sometimes.. but it is my fault too right? Because I don't want to burden anybody. I need to learn how to stop blaming everybody for the things that I've done wrong, and face the honest truth that I do make mistakes, and they get really bad.

I wish people knew how much it hurt to become such good friends with somebody and having that person suddenly leave you and act like that they don't care about you anymore.. imagine facing that for many years. It hurts, and it seems like everybody around you doesn't have any idea. I've cried myself to sleep for this matter so many days of my life, and nobody knows.

All I want to say is.. I'm tired.

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